Gonna do the new!

               in case you haven't noticed, i read A LOT of blogs...i sometimes wish internet-ing and blogging were my job...except that i'm a people person most of the time so i would imagine the world wide web and blogs would not be quite as fulfilling all the time as my mind occasionally leads me to believe. anywho, i've decided to start doing a few new things. Some of the new things i'm interested in are:

• cleaning out. i found this amazing list via mimiandmeg.

• paring down. another amazing list via mimiandmeg.

• mini construction-ing:

           1. bathroom:

               ~mirror revamping with either a me-built or pre-built shelf

               ~bathtub storage

               ~bathtub coziness addition

               ~shower update

               ~makeup organization

           2. closet:

               ~stiletto storage this or this

               ~flip flop storage

there's soooo much more organization and construction i'd like to do but, i think this is a healthy list for now :) i'll be tackling these projects and posting about them all very soon! starting at the top and working my way down.

imperfection

i am an imperfection. i do not always have the best attitude, mouth, personality...or really anything. there are days when i want to be left the heck alone and days when i would do anything to not have to be. i don't always say things right, and i don't always pay attention. but, i am grateful for every single stinkin' person in my life and who aren't in my life (both ever and ever again). i found out on friday that a friend of mine died in her sleep...she was maybe 5-8 years older than me. we hadn't spoken in a while, because i am also an imperfect friend. i think about it now and i was able to easily go about my day once i put her from my mind... how horrible to be able to put someone so easily from my mind, especially after they have lost their life. is that all we mean? are we only important while we are here? i do not want to be so easily forgotten. i do not want my daily life to completely overwhelm me to the point where i'm too busy for the important people in my life. i do no want people to be less important to me than things. i understand that life has to go on after death, but i wonder what it says about a person when life is so easily continued after a loved on dies. is it the amount of love you feel for someone that defines the ease with which you move on? i want my own life to be of a greater importance to all who know me than to be able to move on after only minutes of finding out about my demise...i would think many people would feel that way. i would like to think i am about so much more than the hats i wear and the things i do...i want to be about more, but i don't think being less means you are less. i am a sometimes confusing paradox.

menu planner/grocery list

in addition to my menu board i decided to create a menu planner/grocery list for my 2 week shopping ventures. here it is:

i like to keep things color coordinated so i matched the greens to my menu board, and my boyfriend prefers squares to any other shape so squares it is for the menu selections. i also chose to laminate it so i could save a few trees! what i do is write my meals + 2 sides  in each green box, then i use the dotted lines for the ingredients i need for those recipes. and of course there's a bottom part for other non-recipe related items.

I previously used this one from yellowinlife:

i found it on pinterest and liked the layout and the font, the problem: i plan for 2 weeks at a time and this one only has for 4 days. i also tried using this one and just made some copies that i stapled together, but i ran into the issue of when i wrote the ingredients individually under each recipe it was hard to read when i was at the store, and 2 days i planned for different chicken meals that called for the same amount of chicken and i managed to only buy enough chicken for one night. :(

so, i made some changes and made my own.  :) enjoy!

Food

My boyfriend's daughter, kdc, is a picky eater. And when I say picky I mean even foods she LOVES she won't eat if it looks (or she thinks it looks) different from the last time we had it. I've seriously had her tell me that the sauce in my baked ziti was a little lighter than last time so she doesn't want to eat it and the fight ensues. Everyone tries to get her to eat and her strong will usually prevails and the adult folds because they want her to eat so they give her whatever she wants to eat. Which in my opinion is crap. She has been inadvertently taught that enough fit throwing and crying will yield the results she wants. Many parents make this mistake...but I'm not down for it, so I've been scouring the Internet for recipes to try that she may love. I'll post a few of those when I get to my computer (I'm currently blogging on my phone). The other difficult part: even if she likes it (I could hide chocolate in it) she will make the decision she doesn't and will refuse to eat any more. This frustrates me to no end. And at this point is beginning to hurt my feelings. How can she not like 90% of what I cook when everyone else loves it AND I make sure to use the ingredients I know she likes?? This kid (and I say this kid with love and affection) is driving me bananas with her eating habits...or lack thereof.

facebook

i decided to delete my facebook account. i posted what i thought was a funny ecard, some other people disagreed and felt the need to leave ugly posts on my facebook. i don't like reading ugly things from people who are supposed to be my friends so i deleted it. to be honest i'm hardly ever on there so having it wasn't really doing me any good. i previously used facebook to stay in touch with people and to play games (probably like many people), but i no longer play the games nor get on there other than to upload pics. so i've cut my social umbilical cord...and to be honest i'm not at all sad! :)

weddings weddings weddings

several of my friends are tying the knot. i realized today i'm jealous. that may not seem huge, but i've never really been jealous of anything or anyone in my adult life. i've been thinking about it and i think because anything i've ever wanted i've worked at and gotten i had no reason to be jealous. but marriage...that's something that doesn't take just me. i can work hard at my relationship hoping it will get there, but there's no markers, signs, or specific goals even that i can attain and know i'm headed in the right direction and that my end goal is in sight. so i'm at a bit of a standstill and don't know where to step to take me in the right direction.

probably one of the most irritating things is that i've been pinning things to pinterest that i believe are good ideas for my wedding (if i ever have one) and a mutual friend (we'll call her B) B posted to (we'll call her G she is one of my friends who is getting married) G's facebook EVERY SINGLE dress i had saved in my pinterest someday board. i was so unbelievably upset. and why? over some dresses i'll probably never afford for a wedding i may never have. *shakes head* it's stupid. i mentioned something to my boyfriend about it and he likewise thinks it's weird and understands my frustration. he didn't previously know i had a wedding idea board on pinterest, but it started spilling out of my mouth before i could stop and think that he might freak out about me having this board. he didn't freak out, in fact he was so helpful he made the situation better and made me not feel like B had pulled my maybe wedding dresses right out from under my feet and put them on G's already engaged body. but i'm still sad. and i'm not really sure how to go about getting over it.

another friend (we'll call him JJ) JJ is getting married. Now JJ just got a divorce finalized like a month maybe two ago. He's been separated for over a year from his now ex-wife. He's been with his fiance since September...so not even a year yet. and i'm so incredibly jealous that they're engaged. i was friends with his fiance until they got together. and all of a sudden she was no longer my friend. she now freaks out anytime JJ is out of her sight especially if i'm around. FOR NO REASON!! JJ and i were friends and that's it. JJ is actually best friends with my boyfriend. I'm befuddled as to why i'm so jealous they're engaged but i am.

every single one of my friends who are getting married have either been married before or almost married before. and i think some of it is unfair that they get another chance when i haven't even had one! (omg that sounds so pitiful) mostly i'm really happy these people have found their someone. i've found my someone and i'm ready to take the next big step but idk if he is...or if he's even interested and i'm scared to death to ask because what if he says no or that he never wants to be married again? i've already spent 5 years in a previous relationship that was going nowhere, and i don't really want to do that again. i love him and want to be with him: as husband and wife. i want the dress, the cake, the ceremony, the honeymoon and the forever with him.

friends and family keep asking when we're getting married and i keep saying "i need to be sure" because how do you say "oh i don't know if that'll ever be in the cards"?

my boyfriend has been married before and it's been like 4 years now that they've been separated/divorced. but it was ugly and they were together for a long time (like 8ish years) and then she cheated on him. they separated for a long time without divorcing and then finally divorced a few years ago. we've known each other for going on 3 years now and been together for 1 year. we live together, we do everything like we're married but we're not. and that hurts me. part of me feels like this is forever and this is who i want and i'm ready for it. but another part of me is terrified that it won't work. i do not want to get divorced...ever. i think marriage should be forever (barring some incidents like abuse or cheating). i'm just so ready for forever...with him.

and it's not like i actually can't ask him about marriage someday i'm just scared to. heck, i was terrified to tell him i loved him because i was so scared it was happening too fast. i think i just need to know if marriage is in the cards someday or never. and i think i just need to ask...worse case scenario he says never and we're right back to where we are...together without a piece of paper saying we're tied to each other for better or for worse...but at least we're together. i should pull my head out of my @$$ some people never even find love much less someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with. i also need to assess how important the ceremony and that paper is to me. maybe i'm making too much out of it and need to not create problems. maybe...

Menu board tutorial

i've been scouring the internet for the last few months trying to find a menu board to make that i would love and thus use...i found one via clairsfairytale that i LOVED...well kinda loved...i wanted to tweak it a bit. so, here's mine:

i didn't want to necessarily label what day we were having which menu items, but rather have an understanding that mo-th (weeknights) are on the left and fr-su (weekend nights) are on the right. i wanted to use supplies i had at home, to lower my cost (which round up being less than $25) the only things i had to purchase were the frame ($15), mod podge ($5) and the small clothespins ($3). below is a list of supplies as well as my steps.

(note: there appear to be many steps because i seriously listed them out one at a time and didn't combine any steps.)

list of supplies:
1. 11x14 frame
2. 2 pieces of 12x12 scrapbook paper
3. 7 small clothespins
4. letter stickers
5. printable business cards
6. small box for cards not currently on the menu
7. mod podge
8. hot glue and gun
9. OPTIONAL beacon 3 in 1 advanced craft glue
10. Elmer's glue or tape runner

 





i bought this frame from walmart. i couldn't find one without a mat that said 11x14 so i got this one and just didn't use the mat.

•  purchase/gather supplies.
•  take your 2 pieces of 12x12 scrapbook paper and select which would be the bottom color and which will be the top border. (I forgot to take a pic of the 2 pieces of paper before i trimmed them.)
• cut 1 in off the bottom color and 2.5 in off for the top border piece.

• lay your bottom piece of paper down.

• lay down your top border piece.

• put the back of your frame on and flip over to make sure your pages are in the frame right.

ignore the ruler

• take a box (clairsfairytale used crayola boxes i chose to use a kraft macaroni and cheese box as that was what we had for dinner that night) and cut in half or smaller. (i chose in half so that my cards  would be hidden from the sight of little hands).

• take the remainder page from the top border color and trim to wrap your box (like you would a present) in the below image you can see i didn't quite have enough left over paper to wrap all the way around the box but since  it will be on the frame you won't be able to tell. i used a scrapbooking permanent tape runner to glue the paper to the box, you could use mod podge or Elmer's glue.

• take the remainder 1 in piece from your bottom page and cut into smaller strips to cover your clothespins. you could also dye them with food coloring or rit dye.

• mod podge the crap out of the clothespins and the covered box. i used 3 layers.

i recently purchased the handy professional decoupage tools and thought i'd try them out.  if you've ever used mod podge before you know it can bubble up and these helped IMMENSELY! i also purchased outdoor mod podge because i couldn't find my regular mod podge and refused to buy something i had hiding somewhere around the house.

• while that's drying decide what you want your menu board to say such as "menu" or "what's for dinner", etc. then decide if your stickers can go on the outside of the glass or need to be under your glass. i used chipboard stickers and put them under the glass to make sure they stayed put. i used a ruler to make sure they stayed level when applying.

• use some business cards to figure out your layout and spacing.

• mark where you want your clothespins to be (remembering to account for your box). i used 2.5 in spacing on both sides starting from the bottom  on the left and from the top of the box on the right putting 4 clothespins on the left and 3 on the right.

• hot glue your clothespins to the frame. making sure if you made marks that your clothespin splits the mark and are straight up against the inside part of the frame this will help with keeping them level.

• attach your box. i used beacon 3 in1 advanced craft glue. i tried about 4 times to hot glue it to the glass and couldn't get it to stick.

• print your menu choices onto cards. i chose to use business cards for their size and perforated-ness. i printed the main item and 2 sides on the front of each card and the recipe on the back. (sorry i forgot to take pics of those.)i mod podged these as well for durability.

and voila! you can now have a menu board like mine :) 

i hope you enjoyed the tutorial! 

pinterest

so i know i've mentioned in a previous post about spending a serious amount of time on pinterest...and i'd just like to say we've firmly cemented our relationship and are out of the courtship phase and are now madly in love with one another...or at least i'm madly in love with pinterest. in all actuality i probably spend WWWAAAAYYYY too much time on there...maybe i wouldn't if i didn't have the app on everything i own and weren't on a computer for long stretches of time...

anywho, while i was originally in love with facebook our relationship has been strained ever since it all started changing...i mean really throwing around words like updates every 5 seconds had started making me feel a little inadequate in the update department...i like myelf just fine and didn't want to change :)  and then the dawn of pinterest arrived and i suddenly realized *gasp* i didn't know what love was!! so much of my day is spent idling pinteresting...our relationship has evolved (NOT updated) to the point where my boyfriend now lovingly asks me what i've pinned today or what i learned on pinterest today. :) gosh i love him. he's so understanding of my need for this type of fulfillment from an electronic medium ;) *snickers* of course i also understand his need for fulfillment from his electronic mediums...plural...i've always been a monogamous person...when it comes to electronic marriages he's waaaaay more into the plurality of the relationships than i am. honestly, i can't keep up with the demand i feel from devoting time on different electronic mediums...so i'm not so sad to sad i'm divorcing facebook for pinterest...if i didn't need my facebook to keep up with certain friends i think i would divorce and move away LOL.

signing off for tonight.

At a bar concert

Sooo I'm at a bar concert with some friends and all I can think about is that 50% of all marriages fail. My boyfriends ex-gf is here (which is totally cool with me) and I'm sad bc her marriage is failing...my bf's marriage failed. And all I can think is that I'm 28 never been married. My previous relationship was 5 yrs long and ended badly...my now relationship feels more like forever than the other but who really knows? How do you know it's real and lasting? Or do you not and you just try? Willing to try but scared to ask of he's ever even gonna be interested in marriage again...what if he says no!? I'll be crushed! So where does that leave me? At a bar concert with the one I love and am scared to ask about our future.

A little about me

So a little about me...i live with my daughter, boyfriend and his little girl. i'm addicted to pinterest (like seriously addicted), i love to read, cook and sing. i LOVE riding around with my windows down blasting music. My mother told me the other day she could still hear my car once i was down about a block from her house...O.o oops lol!

i've decided i need to spruce up my recipe lists so i've been scouring pinterest as well as many other websites looking for some new recipes. My boyfriend is so great and willing to try anything i cook <3 him so much!! i've taken on the task of creating a menu board and writing out a 2 week menu so that we only go to the store bi-weekly...

i've also learned about myself that i've become addicted to wedding stuff...my boyfriend and i haven't been together that long (1 year in Oct)...but i'm addicted to looking at all the pretty wedding stuff...and it doesn't help that many of my friends are getting married so i keep seeing their stuff. And, i must admit i'm overly jealous that i'm not married yet...i secretly want to be married soooooo dang bad!!

well enough rambling for tonight...family time :)

Let's try again

i have tried a few times to blog...and i always have deleted it. i'm not sure why so i'm trying again. :) i read many blogs and marvel at how together they all seem to have it. i don't have it all together, but i'm trying to keep it together, so hopefully this will help me as well as give me an outlet.